Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Just What the Doctor Ordered

At the end of Tom Baker's last Doctor Who episode, the Doctor lies prone on the ground, one leg twisted cruelly beneath him and almost lifeless after plummeting from a huge radio telescope, and mutters, "It's the end, but the moment has been prepared for."

And so it was with me.

Not the end of my life as it was for this iteration of the Doctor, of course, but the end of a wonderful chapter of my professional career. 

In a nutshell, I gave up teaching.

After twenty-one years in the trenches serving alongside some of the most amazing teachers I've ever known shepherding and guiding children through music and science, it had become abundantly clear to me that it was time for a change.  Teaching had, after all, changed, and I was a dinosaur incapable of dodging the educational asteroid.  Many parents, too, had changed, and some that I had held in the highest esteem and counted as trusted friends turned their backs on me and ignored my outstretched hand of reconciliation.  More painfully, I noticed several years ago that children were changing too, and not surprisingly considering the constant bombardment from a decrepit world.  I could no longer invest my all in nurturing these relationships only to be rebuffed and hurt.   Most of all, though, I simply could not support my family on what I made and I could no longer ask them to sacrifice as they had.  God had blessed me beyond my worth during my time as a teacher and had rewarded my faithfulness many times over, so now it was time to step aside and ask Him to bless my wife and sons through a new assignment.  It didn't matter to me what it was as long as I could do it for His glory and their support.  In March, long before anything came down the pipe as a replacement job, I resigned my teaching position and surrendered the situation to the Lord.

God, as He a way of doing in my life over and over again, showed up in the situation in a big, big way.

Through the unlikely avenue of a dog sitting gig, a client informed me that he was looking to fill a position at his company.

A big company.

A big company that makes lots and lots of money and pays well.

Long story short, on my client's recommendation and God's favor during my interview, I was given a job in information technology at said client's company.  Culture shock and mad dash adjustment quickly became the norm, but adjust I did, and it has been a very pleasant experience.

Chalk dust for flow charts.

Textbooks for business plans.

Science and handwriting for spreadsheets and hard drives.

It has been a mighty change, but it has been good.

God, you see, is good, and even though I no longer teach in a small Christian school setting and find myself every morning behind a different sort of desk firmly ensconced as part of corporate America, I will never fail to recognize His goodness.

At the end of Peter Davison's last Doctor Who episode, the Doctor suddenly regenerates into a new actor in the form of Colin Baker to play the part.  As Colin's Doctor sits up and looks around himself, his erstwhile companion asks him what happened.  With a wry smile and gleam in his eye, he says, "Change, my dear, and it seems not a moment too soon."

Change.

And so it was with me.

Indeed.

 

 

 

Reboot

It's been a very, very long time since I've blogged, and in that time, my life has had more ups and downs than a Coney Island roller coaster on steroids.  I have learned volumes about myself in that span and, perhaps more importantly, the true nature of others, and I've arrived at the conclusion that we humans are sometimes as twisted as we are beautiful.  I've spent countless nights alone in my head with a torrent of thoughts tumbling and cascading end over end as I've tried to make sense of it all, and I have witnessed emotions spewing forth bruised and raw like a carcass straight from a slaughterhouse.  There were times I questioned my own sanity (and that of many others) and seemed to have only a toe barely dipped in reality.  There were times I wanted to check out.  There were times I wanted to run.  There were times I wanted to secret myself away from the world and just wither like a potted plant deprived of sunlight.

But I didn't.

I didn't check out.

I didn't run.

I didn't hide.

Instead, I laid low, quietly licked my wounds, sought the love and affection of those I knew truly cared, and healed.  Now, several months after I first sat in that run away roller coaster car, I'm a different man-- stronger, healthier, grounded.

So.  Much.  Better.

I can look back on those depressing days, face them, stare them down, and move forward with a lightness of step that I haven't experienced in ages.

I am free.

I hope to share some of my journey with you.  I hope I have something important to say again, and if I don't, I'm going to talk anyway because it's how I process.  It's good for me.  The new me.  The better me.   Aron 2.0.

Reboot.